Friday, July 30, 2010

Reality Check

I'm not one to expect much. I try not to get my hopes up or over think things. I even came up with my own quote : "In life, never get your hopes up. Just pray that the Lord will bless you with the best possible outcome."

However. In life, I do believe that you must always expect two things. 1) that things will probably never turn out how you want them to. and 2)life will always hit you with a reality check when you least expect it.

My reality check unfortunately hit me this week. At a time when I'm stressing out about not getting into all my classes for the fall. Im dealing with apartment issues. I just quit (one of) my jobs. and Im just not at a very pleasant place.

It came in the form of the past. It hurt me. and I actually lost a nights (and mornings) worth of sleep.

I grew up in a house full of honest people. I know that liers exist. I've dealt with them. I've had them lie to my face. I've confonted them. I've cut them off. and I've moved on.

However, I've never had someone lie about something so important that it could possibly make the reciever question everything they thought they knew.

Before I go on, let me make one thing straight. I trust my parents. They've never done wrong by me. and they have never lied to me. I would never question their motives or their words. But irregardless of how much I trust them, at the end of the day, I always go with what I've seen with my own eyes. I make opinions based on what I know, not what I've been told me.

Now, to continue.

Like I said, I've never had anyone blatantly lie about something that could drastically change a person. It's one of those things that I knew happened, but necause I;ve never seen it with my own eyes, I almost looked at it as a myth. In my head, it's like, yes, people do lie. but little baby lies. Lies that don't mean nothing. But when it comes to the big stuff. They would have to be honest.

Unfortunately, thats not the case.

And I have to deal with that. I cant get upset about it. Just deal with it. I have to realize that yes, those people do exist. And it's not you. It's them. They have the problem, not you.

I also have to realize that I cant run away from conflict. My first reaction to these things is that I don't want to deal with it. So I just put it away and "forget" about it. But of course, it's impossible to walk away from thinkgs like that.

I basically need to grow up. Part of maturing is not only taking things for what they are, but also dealing with them. Not just running from them....

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