Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I Think I Need A Break

From white people...

I know that sounds max racist. but it's truley how I'm feeling right now.

Maybe not all white people. but the stuck up, snootie, im better than you, i think im the shiit ones.

I just cant take it anymore.

I cant take being the only black person in a full class.

I cant take the stares. I cant take the rude-ness. And I cant stand being blantaly ignored.

As much as it sucks, I can't even be that mad at them..
I feel like they dont even do it on purpose. Theyre probably just so used to being that way, that it just comes natural.

Today in class we did an activity. We basically taped a piece of paper on our back with a bunch of traits, and our classmates had to put a check next to the word or words they felt described us. The words included "intelligent, clever, creative, likeable, calmness, confident" among others.

Out of all the people who did mine, not one put a check on intelligent. For some reason that really bothered me. I know I dont talk alot, but neither does more than half the class. And I know not everyone knows me, but seriously....I put a check by intelligent on every person I talked to. I mean we're freaking business majors. All in upper division. All about to graduate. So we're all obviously pretty damn intelligent.

It just kind of hurt that no one thought that I was. Or no one thought to check it. Maybe it's cause my big hoops and twist. Or tattoos and piercings. Or maybe it's "something else" (I'm not even gonna say it, but you know what I'm thinking)....

But yeah, I just really needed to get that off my chest. I dont have anyone to talk to out here. My roommates cool, but she's white, so she wouldnt understand. And I just dont have anyone out here that I'm close enough to to really "vent" to...

I'm in a very lonely place. Where no day is any better than the last. For right now, I'm just working and trying to pass my classes so I can get the hell out of here. Even if I never meet some really good friends (which to be frank, I dont think I ever will), I'll at least be with family. So I'll be a little happier....

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