Quote of the Day

"Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are."

-Bernice Johnson Reagon

Love It!!!!

Nail Color of the Week

"Turquoise & Caicos" by Essie

Here We Go Again

So my mind has this awful habit of taking a single thought and creating an entire, time consuming, "life" out of it. In the end, reality hits, and I end up losing countless hours of lost thoughts. These "dreams" (thats all i can think to call it) are usually based around a guy (because I'm boy crazy) and on rare occasions, friends or money. And like I said, they never end up being remotely close to reality. I recently came down off my dream cloud and smacked onto the earth. At first, I promised myself that "I would focus on school and never let that happen to me again." Cause although I've always been a dreamer, the lonliness of being away at school and the boredom that has ensued thanks for lack of my friends, has caused me to do this more often and it's usually more extensive. I told myself that I need to focus on school, cause thats why I came out here in the first place. Not to meet my boyfriend, or meet a bunch of people, or party every night. Those are all perks of going to college. But you come here for school and school only. And it sucks that I wasn't able to enjoy those perks, but hey...thats life.

Everytime I felt sad about my reality check, I repeated that whole quote to myself all night. Then, it hit me. I will never stop doing that to myslef. Especially while I'm out here. Yes I'm here for school. Yes I'm semi-okay with being a lonely loser. But at the end of the day, the dreamer in me will never stop, no matter how much I try. And the boy crazy little girl inside of me is always gonna need a boy on her mind.

Basically all I can do is try not to let my mind get too crazy or too attatched on one thing. I need to slowly introduce reality to it, rather than allow it to stay in the clouds and be smacked down all at once. So yeah, hopefully I'm able to regulate my mind so that I can get through this last year of school. Once I graduate, I can move back home and work on getting back my happiness. Cause I've pretty much given up on the thought of being happy while I'm out here.

It's kind of impossible.

Quote of the Day

"Everybody wants to be somebody, but nobody wants to grow."
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

2 Hours and 10 Minutes

I wrote this "poem" (if you can even call it that) in class last night. I was bored and wanted to write a good poem, but somehow I came up with this. Sometimes I have to really think to come up with the right words to say, and other times they just kind of flow. Sometimes they dont make sense but flow wonderfully so I just go with it. But thats why I love poetry. It's never perfect, yet it always figures out your hearts intentions and jots it down for you and sometimes others to understand.


2 Hrs and 10 Minutes

Think damnit
Write damnit
Do something with yourself
Figure out your life

Who are you
What will you be
What do you want to be?

Walk the right path
Secure the right future

Figure yourself out

It's the only way to see clear
And move forward

Reflection

Acceptance

To me, it's about knowing what is and going along with it.

Life is about a journey of acceptance. We wont always like where and who we are. But we must learn to accept it.

Once we achieve that, we can embark on a journey of change... and (hopefully) eventually happiness

Where do I stand?

As of today, I would say that I have almost reached the full acceptance of my "situation" and my self.

I have accepted my body for what it is.
My spending habits, my eating habits
My place of residence, my monetary position
The people in my life
And lack of others

Now that I have come to terms with these things, I must now take the time to evaluate them and decide if I am happy with the way things are. If I am not, I must begin a journey of change.
I must figure out how to change and what it is that I want out of said change.
I must create goals and must make the correct choices and the correct steps to reach those goals.

So there it is. Written, read, and read again.


Now,

Let the evaluation begin....

Nail Color of the Week

"For Audrey" by China Glaze

Reflection

if i dont like me, how can i expect anyone else to?

"The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, nor will people say, 'Here it is,' or 'There it is,' because the Kingdom of God is within you."


Luke 17