Signs

So I wanna start this post off by saying that I am a very indecisive, yet very determined individual. It takes me for-freakin-ever to make a decision. but once I do, there's no turning back. I dont care what obstacle may be in my way, Im getting that ish done no matter what! lol

Now on to the story...


So, towards the end of the year I decided I was tired of being a virgin and that once I got back to san diego after the new year, I was gonna hook up with a guy I know and get it over with. I had been thinking about this for a while, and was going back and forth about it. Once I made my mind up, I was determined to make it happen. I thought it out in my head, and decided that when I came back I would call him up and we'd get it done. But before I could make that call (actually, text. lol), some family issues arised and I ended up bringing my cousin back to sd with me. He spent the week at my apartment and I ended up not having any alone time to hit him up (sign #1)

Undetered by the minor setback, I decided that I would try again the following week. But once again, an obstacle got in my way. My parents decided to take us on a mini vacay for my moms birthday. So once again I was unable to hook up with him (sign #2)

But like I said before, once I make a decision to do something, no hurdle can keep me from achieving it. So while on vacation I start texting him and tell him what I had planned on doing. As stoked as he was, he proceeded to hit me with yet another sign. I told him that when I got back on Tuesday he could come by and we could get it done. To that he replied, "I'm going to court on Monday, and might get locked up. So Tuesday may not work." (sign #3).


*Pause. Please dont judge me. According to society, he's not a perfect person. I mean, getting locked up. Definately not someone u rush to meet your parents. lol. But who am I to judge....Now let me continue...


By this point, I'm starting to think that I shouldn't be doing this. I mean 3 seperate issues arise in a week. But, again, I'm determined (and so is he), so i just pushed forward. We both decided that if he didn't get locked up, then it was meant to be, and that I'd see him on Tuesday. So Monday rolls around and I dont hear from him. Then Tuesday, no call. By then I just assumed he got locked up and I could keep it pushin. Then Wednesday comes and I get a text. He says he didnt go to jail, and that he'll have to go back to court in Febuary. So as we're making small talk, I notice that I'm feeling pretty nauseous. Wouldnt you know, that night I started my period. (sign #4)

Four signs, one week. Im not an idiot. This aint meant to happen.

I even tried one more time. Saturday I was gonna make plans to see him, but ended up getting sick again and slept the whole day.

As determined as I am, I know when someone is trying to tell me something. This is clearly God's way of telling me to slow down and that this isn't the right way to go about it.

I believe God is having me wait for the right person. There's obviously someone out there who's waiting for me and deserves it more than this guy. I guess I'll be holding onto my v-card for a while longer. Gotta be pure for the one He wants me to be with! lol

We're only 3wks into the new year and Im already feeling 10x more confident than I've ever been! Im loving my skin, my hair (in all its various states), my body, my brain and thoughts. Im just loving me, and it feels great!

As lonely as I am out here, it's nice knowing that I'm secure with myself. It's impossible to have someone love u when u dont even love yourself. I'm hoping that this year just gets better and better, and that I continue to love myself more and more. Hopefully this confidence and inner acceptance manifest itself on the outside and catches the attention of some wonderful people! =)

I am Not a Bad Girl

So I'm having a convo with a "friend" of mine and I tell him that I havent smoked since March. His response was that I'm officially no longer a bad girl.... o_0

That was odd to me because I never thought of myself as a bad girl. But now that I think of it, I kind of was/am. I only thought of myself as good because I'm a pure virgin. But thats really it. I've smoked, drank well before I turned 21, got tattoos and piercings behind my parents back, and done quit a few other things that definitely wouldnt be considered "good."

I just thought it was funny that the ONLY reason I considered myself a good girl was because I've never had sex and because I'm in school (and am doing good, but not even great). Lol. I mean technically, I'm just as bad, if not worse than some of friends, the only difference is that I'm slick with mine and dont go telling the world everytime I do something.

Hmm. Just a little food for thought. I gotta keep checking and analyzing myself. If not, this road to maturity would be impossible....

Hair-spiration

*pretty picture heavy





























All seen here: http://hairlikeme.tumblr.com/ and here http://fuckyeahnaturalhair.tumblr.com/

I am NOT Better

I have a tendency to think I'm "better" than some people. I've been through a lot in my life, but was also blessed with parents who helped me to accomplish alot. As hard as I try not to, I sometimes look down on people. But it's never on purpose, and whenever I realize I'm doing it, I immediately try to derail that train of thought. I feel like that as human beings we tend to automatically look down upon one another. But what we all, including myself, need to realize is that just because some of us were blessed with certain opportunities that allowed us to live "successful" lives (at least according to societal norms), that doesnt mean that those who arent as blessed aren't just as great. Anywho, I'm only writing this because I'm always trying to better myself and when I notice something about my personality that I don't particularly like, or something that I wouldnt like if it were done by someone else, I always try to analyze it and figure out how I can go about changing it. It's all apart of my journey to become a more mature individual...

I Just Gotta Say

That I am freaking L-O-V-E-ing my hair right now!!!

It's getting so thick and healthy! I just...have no words. Its just so beautiful. and im so glad that despite what my family and others think about it and how many times they call it nappy, i can still embrace it, and fall more in love with it everyday!!!!

Nail Polish Post

*with flash



*without flash


OPI "Simmer and Shimmer" and "Bring on the Bling"

And It Begins

i've been spending alot lately, and it's really not okay. so i've decided to stop all unnecessary spending. starting now, im only buying the essentials. im going to take it month by month. but ideally, i would like to not spend for the whole semester. i was pretty successful in my no spendng beore. hopefully i can do even bettr this time!

"And Tell Cornell West that I'm Trynna Steal His FroOo!"

*Once upon a time, I wouldn't dare leave my house like this. Now-a-days, not only did I go out, but I took a photo shoot. lol

Nail Polish of the Week

*with flash


*without flash



"Simmer and Shimmer" by OPI


I once told myself that I would NEVER wear glitter nail polish....then I saw this! And I am now hooked. This color is gorgeous to me. I love looking down at my fingers and seeing flakes of prettiness staring at me. lol. I love glitter polish so much that I'm having my local supply hold a bottle of gold OPI polish for me. I am now an addict. lol




-Disclaimer: please dont mind the newspaper, its all I could find. lol...oh. and didnt you notice the pic quality? my parents got me a camera for Christmas. They're the best!!!