Monday, January 17, 2011


So I wanna start this post off by saying that I am a very indecisive, yet very determined individual. It takes me for-freakin-ever to make a decision. but once I do, there's no turning back. I dont care what obstacle may be in my way, Im getting that ish done no matter what! lol

Now on to the story...

So, towards the end of the year I decided I was tired of being a virgin and that once I got back to san diego after the new year, I was gonna hook up with a guy I know and get it over with. I had been thinking about this for a while, and was going back and forth about it. Once I made my mind up, I was determined to make it happen. I thought it out in my head, and decided that when I came back I would call him up and we'd get it done. But before I could make that call (actually, text. lol), some family issues arised and I ended up bringing my cousin back to sd with me. He spent the week at my apartment and I ended up not having any alone time to hit him up (sign #1)

Undetered by the minor setback, I decided that I would try again the following week. But once again, an obstacle got in my way. My parents decided to take us on a mini vacay for my moms birthday. So once again I was unable to hook up with him (sign #2)

But like I said before, once I make a decision to do something, no hurdle can keep me from achieving it. So while on vacation I start texting him and tell him what I had planned on doing. As stoked as he was, he proceeded to hit me with yet another sign. I told him that when I got back on Tuesday he could come by and we could get it done. To that he replied, "I'm going to court on Monday, and might get locked up. So Tuesday may not work." (sign #3).

*Pause. Please dont judge me. According to society, he's not a perfect person. I mean, getting locked up. Definately not someone u rush to meet your parents. lol. But who am I to judge....Now let me continue...

By this point, I'm starting to think that I shouldn't be doing this. I mean 3 seperate issues arise in a week. But, again, I'm determined (and so is he), so i just pushed forward. We both decided that if he didn't get locked up, then it was meant to be, and that I'd see him on Tuesday. So Monday rolls around and I dont hear from him. Then Tuesday, no call. By then I just assumed he got locked up and I could keep it pushin. Then Wednesday comes and I get a text. He says he didnt go to jail, and that he'll have to go back to court in Febuary. So as we're making small talk, I notice that I'm feeling pretty nauseous. Wouldnt you know, that night I started my period. (sign #4)

Four signs, one week. Im not an idiot. This aint meant to happen.

I even tried one more time. Saturday I was gonna make plans to see him, but ended up getting sick again and slept the whole day.

As determined as I am, I know when someone is trying to tell me something. This is clearly God's way of telling me to slow down and that this isn't the right way to go about it.

I believe God is having me wait for the right person. There's obviously someone out there who's waiting for me and deserves it more than this guy. I guess I'll be holding onto my v-card for a while longer. Gotta be pure for the one He wants me to be with! lol

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