Saturday, June 12, 2010

I Need


I'm really not feeling this whole lonely slump I've seemed to get stuck in. It's really not cool.

I have pretty much no one out here. The friends I "thought" I had, are always leaving me out. And I'm too shy to go out and meet new friends, eventhough I feel like I probably wouldnt like alot of people. (un)Fortunately, I have a different mentality than alot of people my age, or at least the ones that I've met. It's kind of a blessing and a curse. On one hand, I love the fact that I'm able to think for myself, do my own thing w/out worrying too much about others, and see the world for what it really is, free of any and all blinders. However, I also dont have anyone to really talk to, anyone who understands me, or anyone to hang out with.... My mom says that it's almost inevitable. Apparently the wise man, is also a very lonely man. We live in a time where you do what your told, think like everyone else, and act accordingly. i was blessed with parents who alwways told me the truth, let me be myself and do me, without straying away from family. Maybe I was just too spoiled. And now that I'm in the "real" world (well, real according to "them"), I have to get past this mental culture shock. Or deal with the fact that I probably wont ever have a solid group of friends that can at least be understanding of the way that i think and choose to live my life.....Oh well... =/

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