I read this on a blog today. It was a comment responding to an open letter written by Marc Lamont Hill in response to an article by Slim Thug regarding black women.
This commentor took all my thoughts and intelligently typed them out in the comments section...i love it!
Written by anonymous:
"My only problem with that reading is that it ignores the racialized notions that he perpetuates. He explicitly contrasts the black woman who's reaching too far and expects too much to the white women that supposedly "bow down" to their men. Just the fact that the white woman "does whatever I say" implies that black women are incapable of living up to the concept of femininity and partnership and, even worse, that the idea where women are meek servants who concede everything to their man's desires should be the concept of femininity and partnership that we subscribe to.
And while I agree that many women overlook good men in search of the non-existent better ones, I think that you can easily apply that idea to other races, not just black women. As daughters, we are told to get the best, that not just anybody deserves the investment of our time, money, and affection. When we, as black women, attempt to live up to those standards that have been given to us by our fathers, grandfathers, brothers, our mothers, grandmothers, older sisters, we are told that we are aiming too high. It is a conflicting message that should not be.
Yes, black women should be more open to both black men and to other races. (My own mother, a black Ivy League graduate married my now adoptive father - a black government plumber, and I have never seen a happier couple. Ironically, all I heard in college is how such a coupling never happens.) Yes, black women should not keep running for the virtually unattainable perfect black man, especially with the statistics concerning black men as they are now. Yes, we should STAND BY our men. But we should not have to bow down to them. If they are to be kings, then they must remember that in a true relationship, we are their queens, not their concubines or servants.
I apologize both for this being long verging toward a rant from an anonymous and random person on the internet. But I feel that to try and give leniency to Slim Thug's hypocritical comments is a disservice to every woman. It tells women to take what we can, to be the cook, the maid, and the perfect woman who most likely has to work both in and outside the house while the man can be whatever, because we won't get anything better. What a horrible lie to perpetuate."
Open letter : http://theloop21.com/society/open-letter-slim-thug
Slim Thugs's article : http://www.vibe.com/posts/slim-thug-black-women-need-stand-their-man-more